Lethario

Dear Olga @ Hegre Art,

Olga, I absolve you. It’s not your fault. You are a woman and therefore you cannot help but want me. But your efforts to seduce me are in vain. So you can stop touching yourself in front of a mirror. You can quit squeezing a purse against your bush. You can cease hiding behind a tree and you can resist showering with another babe. Last, but not least, you can give up on the all-girl threesomes. Because I am Lethario and I am way too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Marina C @ Met Art,

I write to inform you that I will never be your lover, no matter how much you try to win my affection. So you can give it up now. I’m not impressed by seeing you dressed up in front of some large ornate doors. And seeing you spread-eagled in a hammock doesn’t change my mind. Posing in stockings on a chaise-longue won’t work either. In fact you can pose nude in front of a tree for all I care, because I’m Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Melisa @ Watch4Beauty,

I’m going to put you out of your misery. You are no longer obligated to flirt with me, because I will never be your lover. You can flash your breasts in public as much as you like. You can eat a banana in the bath as often as you wish.  You can stick a tv set between your stocking-clad legs whenever you fancy and you can flash your bits on a bridge, but you will never seduce me. Because I am Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Laura @ Femjoy,

Laura I implore you to stop flirting with me because it ain’t gonna happen. It doesn’t matter if you bend over to let your pendulous breasts hang down, just waiting to be cupped. It doesn’t matter if you sit rather uncomfortably on what should be a comfy chair. You can squeeze your breasts together while giggling, or kneel in front of a mirror and I won’t be moved. You can even dye your hair blonde and pose in front of some graffiti, but still I am Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Natasha @ Watch4Beauty,

I hate to break your heart Natasha, but I will not be your lover now. Not ever, in fact. You can tempt me by sitting legs akimbo in a swivel chair. You can pose strangely down at the gymnasium. You can wear a sexy little neglige and a pair of high heels. You can pose next to a mirror so I see double. You can even go crazy in a golden padded cell, out of frustration, but I won’t change my mind. For I am Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Lidiya @ MET ART,

I was browsing your pictures at MET ART and it dawned on me that you want me. I won’t mislead you. I’ll be blunt with you. I will never be your lover. You can play Look No Panties, while sitting on a park bench. You can stick out your bum while sailing the ocean. You can make out with another woman and you can even compare stripy stockings with a cute blonde, but I won’t be moved. For I am Lethario and I am way too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Anya @ MPL Studios,

I regret to inform you that I will not be your lover. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. And there is nothing you can do that will change my mind. You can swing from a tree on the beach, wearing a skimpy bikini. You can play with your hair in a girly sort of way. You can emerge like a phoenix from the bathtub. You can even sit on the beach with your legs spread-eagled, while water laps at your bits and I won’t be swayed. For I am Lethario and I am way too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Ariel @ Watch4Beauty,

It has come to my attention that you want me. There’s no point in denying it. It’s as clear as the night sky. But your efforts are futile. You can grasp your tits as much as you like. You can prance around naked taking photos with your girlfriend. You can even touch another girl’s tits but it won’t matter to me. You may swish your hair about and you can cover your bits with furry pink hearts. You can even wear a silly hat. But it is all in vain my dear, for I am Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover.

Dear Jenni @ Femjoy,

Don’t hold your breath darling, because I will never be your lover. Even though you clearly want me, I’m afraid I must decline. Sure, you can pose nude in the forest. Sure, you can bend over on some steps to show me your bits. You can even make a half-arsed attempt to fly while your girlfriends stand around laughing at you. But I won’t be moved. You can lie legs akimbo in a doorway for all I care because I am Lethario and I’m too lazy to be your lover. P.S. don’t forget to clean the bath before you go.

Dear Patricia @ Hegre Art,

I’m writing to inform you that I will not be your lover, despite your obvious intentions otherwise. You’ve tried to impress me on many occasions, but your efforts are in vain. You can get it on with a cute blonde as much as you like. You can pose legs akimbo, covered in oil, until the cows come home. You can put on sexy black stockings if you want, but I won’t budge. You can even pose with a big pink ball, but i won’t be moved. For while I might admire you from afar, I am Lethario, too lazy for lovers.